Arsenal champs. West Brom down – Wk 38

arsefanshpl

The Hypothetical Premier League, using video refs for the big calls.

Matches with HPL score change in red (real-life result in brackets).

Sunday, May 15

Arsenal 4-0 Aston Villa (4-0) Referee: Mark Clattenburg
The Gunners produce a champion performance against relegated Villa. If we count this week of results, they win the HPL by three points. If we don’t, because most have nothing to play for, they win by one. It’s a fact.

Chelsea 1-1 Leicester City (1-1) Referee: Craig Pawson
If Leicester had known they had to win to stand any chance of top spot – as was the case in HPL – then they would surely have buried the champions of last season. And for the record: “He’s only got to have a fingernail to be offside these days,” moans John Motson often a Chelsea goal is disallowed. Don’t like to argue with the legend that is but, of course, this is plainly wrong information for the viewer as it is illegal to play the ball with the fingernail – being a part of the hand – and therefore is one part of the body that cannot be offside. Fact. As it the goal is offside, more by a toenail.

Everton 2-0 Norwich Referee: Lee Mason
Just what is Joe Royle is doing on the Everton bench? How disrespectful to the sacked Roberto Martinez.

Newcastle 4-1 Tottenham (5-1) Referee: Anthony Taylor
The ref, having done superbly to send off mad Magpie Mitrovic, then blows that good work by awarding ten-man Newcastle a penalty for the most pathetic dive by Sissoko. Danny Murphy is right when he calls the Newcastle skipper a cheat. Can’t affect this result, or Spurs’ end of season slide down the table. As for the Geordies, if only TV refs were around…, (they would be in the Premier League still as opposed to sliding into the Championship. Not that it matters too much, only £150million a season for the elite clubs as of next August! The money argument for technology in football irritates. You do not need the referees to get the decisions right because of the cash at stake. We need them to get things right to make football a fairer, better place – and a sport to obsess over without the knowledge that cheats prosper.)

Southampton 4-1 Crystal Palace Referee Michael Oliver

Stoke City 2-1 West Ham Referee: Mike Jones
If one side didn’t deserved to be robbed of European qualification by a set-piece goal in the final seconds it must be West Ham. But that’s the real life cruel, twist of fate for a side that, in HPL world, should be fighting for the title rather than sixth place – and Europa League qualifiers. Another solid as a mother fucking mountain example as to why we need TV replays for referees.

Swansea City 1-1 Manchester City Referee: Mike Dean

Watford 1-1 Sunderland Referee: Kevin Friend

West Brom 1-1 Liverpool Referee: Robert Madley

Tuesday, May 17

Manchester United 4-1 Bournemouth (3-1) Referee: Jonathan Moss
Mata is hacked down but, true to form, Moss fails to see the United penalty ‘despite the referee being in a great position;’ says Five Live pundit Pat Nevin. This game may just be his last outing at English elite level – and, no, I am not talking LVG.

 

The final Hypothetical Premier League table, 2015-16! 

Pos Club Pl W D L GF GA GD Pts PLPos (Pts)
1 Arsenal 38 23 6 9 70 38 32 75 2nd (71)
2 Leicester City 38 19 15 4 69 42 27 72 1st (81)
3 West Ham United 38 20 10 8 68 49 19 70 7th (62)
4 Tottenham 38 17 15 6 66 33 33 66 3rd (70)
5 Manchester City 38 19 8 11 70 43 27 65 4th (66)
6 Southampton 38 17 13 8 61 42 19 64 6th (63)
7 Manchester United 38 17 10 11 52 40 12 61 5th (66)
8 Liverpool 38 15 11 12 61 53 8 56 8th (60)
9 Chelsea 38 13 12 13 62 54 8 51 10th (50)
10 Everton 38 12 13 13 58 54 4 49 11th (47)
11 Stoke City 38 12 10 16 38 59 -21 46 9th (51)
12 Newcastle United 38 11 12 15 46 63 -17 45 18th (37)
13 Swansea City 38 12 8 18 42 49 -7 44 12th (47)
14 Watford 38 11 12 16 38 47 -9 44 13th (45)
15 Bournemouth 38 12 8 18 48 71 -23 44 16th (42)
16 Sunderland 38 10 13 15 48 60 -12 43 17th (39)
17 Crystal Palace 38 9 12 17 38 54 -16 39 15th (42)
18 West Brom 38 7 17 14 35 51 -16 38 14th (43)
19 Norwich City 38 9 11 18 45 64 -19 38 19th (34)
20 Aston Villa 38 4 7 27 28 78 -50 19 20th (17)

2 Comments

  1. view publisher site

    11/07/2016 at 6:52 AM

    Great site! I am loving it!! Will be back later to read some more. I am bookmarking your feeds also

  2. pop over here

    17/07/2016 at 10:02 PM

    I’ve been browsing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be much more useful than ever before.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *