- The HPL 2015-16 review
- Arsenal champs. West Brom down – Wk 38
- Sky Ref keeps Arsenal top. Toon safe! Wk 37
- Gunners top, Foxes slip, Irons poised – Wk 36
- Leicester and Mahrez in clear – Wk 35
- Vardy in red card Moss – Wk 34
- Carroll elbow kills Arsenal – Wk 33
- Norwich up Newcastle down – Wk 32
- Bilic spot on over Irons hard luck
- West Ham hefty penalty – Wk 31
- Hand of Wes escapes – Wk 30
- The Hypothetical Premier League
- Foxes top for first time – Wk 29
- Top four so tight – Wk 28
- LVG floors Arsene title bid – Wk 27
- Time’s up for LVG’s United – Wk 25
- TV Eye, TV Refs
- Newcastle and Villa ripped off – Wk 23
- Martinez after Instant Karma
- Wk 21/22 table, reports, results
- Wenger Wonders
- Wk 20 table, reports, results
- Wk 19 table, reports, results
- Wk 18 table, reports, results
- Wk 17 table, reports, results
Arsenal champs. West Brom down – Wk 38
- Updated: 22/05/2016
The Hypothetical Premier League, using video refs for the big calls.
Matches with HPL score change in red (real-life result in brackets).
Sunday, May 15
Arsenal 4-0 Aston Villa (4-0) Referee: Mark Clattenburg
The Gunners produce a champion performance against relegated Villa. If we count this week of results, they win the HPL by three points. If we don’t, because most have nothing to play for, they win by one. It’s a fact.
Chelsea 1-1 Leicester City (1-1) Referee: Craig Pawson
If Leicester had known they had to win to stand any chance of top spot – as was the case in HPL – then they would surely have buried the champions of last season. And for the record: “He’s only got to have a fingernail to be offside these days,” moans John Motson often a Chelsea goal is disallowed. Don’t like to argue with the legend that is but, of course, this is plainly wrong information for the viewer as it is illegal to play the ball with the fingernail – being a part of the hand – and therefore is one part of the body that cannot be offside. Fact. As it the goal is offside, more by a toenail.
Everton 2-0 Norwich Referee: Lee Mason
Just what is Joe Royle is doing on the Everton bench? How disrespectful to the sacked Roberto Martinez.
Newcastle 4-1 Tottenham (5-1) Referee: Anthony Taylor
The ref, having done superbly to send off mad Magpie Mitrovic, then blows that good work by awarding ten-man Newcastle a penalty for the most pathetic dive by Sissoko. Danny Murphy is right when he calls the Newcastle skipper a cheat. Can’t affect this result, or Spurs’ end of season slide down the table. As for the Geordies, if only TV refs were around…, (they would be in the Premier League still as opposed to sliding into the Championship. Not that it matters too much, only £150million a season for the elite clubs as of next August! The money argument for technology in football irritates. You do not need the referees to get the decisions right because of the cash at stake. We need them to get things right to make football a fairer, better place – and a sport to obsess over without the knowledge that cheats prosper.)
Southampton 4-1 Crystal Palace Referee Michael Oliver
Stoke City 2-1 West Ham Referee: Mike Jones
If one side didn’t deserved to be robbed of European qualification by a set-piece goal in the final seconds it must be West Ham. But that’s the real life cruel, twist of fate for a side that, in HPL world, should be fighting for the title rather than sixth place – and Europa League qualifiers. Another solid as a mother fucking mountain example as to why we need TV replays for referees.
Swansea City 1-1 Manchester City Referee: Mike Dean
Watford 1-1 Sunderland Referee: Kevin Friend
West Brom 1-1 Liverpool Referee: Robert Madley
Tuesday, May 17
Manchester United 4-1 Bournemouth (3-1) Referee: Jonathan Moss
Mata is hacked down but, true to form, Moss fails to see the United penalty ‘despite the referee being in a great position;’ says Five Live pundit Pat Nevin. This game may just be his last outing at English elite level – and, no, I am not talking LVG.
The final Hypothetical Premier League table, 2015-16!
|2||Leicester City||38||19||15||4||69||42||27||72||1st (81)|
|3||West Ham United||38||20||10||8||68||49||19||70||7th (62)|
|5||Manchester City||38||19||8||11||70||43||27||65||4th (66)|
|7||Manchester United||38||17||10||11||52||40||12||61||5th (66)|
|11||Stoke City||38||12||10||16||38||59||-21||46||9th (51)|
|12||Newcastle United||38||11||12||15||46||63||-17||45||18th (37)|
|13||Swansea City||38||12||8||18||42||49||-7||44||12th (47)|
|17||Crystal Palace||38||9||12||17||38||54||-16||39||15th (42)|
|18||West Brom||38||7||17||14||35||51||-16||38||14th (43)|
|19||Norwich City||38||9||11||18||45||64||-19||38||19th (34)|
|20||Aston Villa||38||4||7||27||28||78||-50||19||20th (17)|